Things to consider for International Travel

My family just got back from our first international trip with Scotty!  And even though it’s 1am and I should be in bed, I am too jet lagged to sleep so I thought I would post some of my thoughts on international trips with a small child.

Passports and documentation
Make sure you get this in order well before your trip if you want to save stress and money.  For a child in the United States, both parents have to be present for a child to get a passport OR you have to get a form notarized saying that the absent parent is also allowing the child to get a passport.

Plane seating
Most airlines allow a child to sit on a parent’s lap for free up to the age of two, but I would strongly suggest getting your child their own seat if you can afford it (I would not do this on domestic flights… my flight was 11 hours!).  If your child is young enough, simply request a seat with a bassinet and you are set!  But, if you have a little mover on your hands, you will be grateful for the extra space and flexibility that an additional seat gets you (especially during meal and nap times).  I would also suggest having your child sit in their car seat on the plane (some airlines require them to be in a car seat).  The familiar seat helps them sleep and the straps keep them locked in position- err I mean keeps them safe!

What to bring on the flight?
In addition to the diaper bag essentials, bring toys (a small new inexpensive toy for every hour of the flight is my suggestion), a jacket, and a blanket.  Over pack extra clothes, food, and diapers.  You don’t want to run out.  I also brought children’s Tylenol since I was worried about a possible ear infection.

At your destination
Make sure your destination provides what you need- don’t assume hotels have things like cribs.  One of the hotels I stayed at had them and one didn’t!  I was very glad that I brought my son’s Pack n’ Play all the way over with me.  I was also glad that I brought all of Scotty’s diapers, wipes, and food from home.  They would have been at least twice as expensive (especially with the horrible exchange rate) at my destination so it was worth it to toss it in a free checked bag.  If your child uses a high chair you might want to do a little research about high chairs at your destination.  After about 5 days into our travels we noticed that everyone had their own high chair straps!  The entire time we were thinking that high chairs were just designed poorly in this country with no straps!  This would have been nice to know before we went.

What not to bring
Think carefully about the things you shouldn’t bring- this will vary based on your destination.  My husband and I were loading up the car and just about ready to leave when we realized we had no need for the stroller where we were going.  We were going to bring it out of habit but our destination was not a stroller friendly place (lots of stairs and not a lot of elevators).  We made the right call by only bringing the Ergo baby carrier.

The obvious
Be patient.  Don’t try to pack too much into each day- you can always ADD things later if everyone is up to it and jet lag is not too bad.  Leave yourself lots of extra time to get to destinations.  Your trip will be more enjoyable for everyone if you are not stressed.

The best advice
Lastly, a friend of mine suggested having one of us (either me or my husband) get on the plane first during pre-boarding and set everything up (the car seat, the water, the toys…) while the other waited until the last possible minute in the airport letting Scott run around.  This was the best advice ever!  Why rush to get your child on the plane?  They are going to be sick of it sooner rather than later anyways!  Instead let them stretch their legs for a while longer if you are in a situation to do so.

Scotty Turns 1!

As Scotty’s first birthday is getting closer I am a little sad and a little happy as I think about all the amazing things that have happened in the last year.

About a year ago an insane urge to listen to songs from my childhood suddenly hit me.  I was drawn to youtube like I have never been before.  I watched video after video of totally “old school” things like “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” theme song, Queen music videos, and songs from college that I loved and hadn’t listened to for years.

At some point, my husband said that I needed to go to bed- it was getting late.  We joked that the one night I stayed up late was probably the night I would go into labor.  Hahaha.  I got my first contraction after the lights had been off for about 5 minutes.

At first, I didn’t tell my husband that I was having contractions.  I had read about false labor and practice contractions (but hadn’t had any) so I wanted to be sure before I woke him.  These contractions also felt manageable so they could not be the real thing right?

After about an hour I woke him.  And about an hour after that we called my mother (who was 5 hours away by plane!) to let her know she should try to catch a flight if she wanted to make the birth of her first grandchild.

Another two hours and we started to get ready to go to the hospital.  (If I knew what I know now about my labor, I would have stayed home longer, but c’est la vie)

The next evening (after 19 hours of labor, 3 of which I was pushing every minute and a half) we got to meet our son!

The first three months are a sleepless blur.  Since we don’t have any family close by, we had to do almost every feeding and every diaper change on our own.  Since I was off work it was not unbearable- but we were very tired most of the time.  And I think we got off pretty lucky.  Scott was a super easy baby.  About as easy as they come.  He had no health issues, no feeding issues, no sleeping issues…  He was the kind of baby that got you thinking about baby #2 and #3.

As Scotty and I fell into our routine of waking, changing diapers, going for walks, napping, making food, and keeping the house clean, I really began to enjoy being a mom.  I learned that I have patience that I never knew I had.  I also learned to respect the women that can stay home and be a homemaker fulltime.  After a few months I wanted to go back to work (and had a lot of guilt about that).

Months 5-8 were all about getting into a different routine- one that involved two working parents and a baby.  Scotty thrived at daycare while his parents tried to keep their heads above water.

By month 9 we had finally gotten the hang of things.  We were (and still are) exhausted, but we have managed to adjust to this new reality.

And then Scotty started walking, and people started calling him a toddler.  While it is nice to see the end of diaper changing and breast feeding on the distant horizon, I know that my husband and I are going to miss these baby years.  Everyone has been telling us for the past year that “it goes so fast!” and “enjoy it while you can!”.  At the time we looked at one another, both knowing what the other was thinking “damn these people are CRAZY!  Let’s have them come to our house and cover the 10pm, 12am, 3am, and 5am feedings!”.

And now we know they were right.

Happy first birthday Scotty, we love you!

What to pack and what to buy for extended trips

Recently, I took a trip with 8 month old Scotty and my husband.  As I started planning out all of the things I would need to take for Scott for a 5 day trip I started weighing the pros and cons (and the checked bag fees) of bringing certain items from home versus buying items once we reached our destination.  I was mainly worried about diapers and solid food.

I ended up bringing both diapers and food for Scott for a variety of reasons.  I was going to Hawaii and diapers and food are more expensive on the island than they are on the mainland.   I was also staying in a resort so I was not close to a store where I could buy diapers or baby food (unless you count the ABC Store).  I was also not planning on renting a car, so I did not have easy access to needed items.

I used the following “formulas” to calculate how much to bring.

For solid food, Scotty normally has 3 meals a day (the rest is breast milk- no need to pack that!).   Since I make his food, I had to resign myself to bringing him store bought jarred food.  I took enough for him to have 4 jars a day (about the same amount he eats at home).  I took 2 jars of fruit and 2 jars of veggies per day.   That’s 20 jars.  I also packed his rice cereal in a ziplock bag.  As it turns out, I over packed food by about 5 jars.

For diapers I planned on changing Scotty’s diaper every 2 hours for the 12 hours a day that he was awake.  Six diapers a day for 5 days, 30 diapers.  This sounded low so I added 10 diapers.  I was off in my calculation for diapers by ONE.  I tried using a “swimming diaper” that I had on hand.  And for those of you who don’t know, swimming diapers are not the same thing as regular diapers.  I learned this the hard way (I am sorry Hilton Hotel for the puddle on the floor…).  To my credit the box said nothing about  doing this.  Since I was short diapers for the return trip I had to buy a package of diapers from the ABC Store.  I am a HUGE bargain diaper shopper and it nearly killed me to pay $18 for only 12 diapers.

I found the disposable bibs and changing towels to be well worth the expense to use on the plane and in the airport, but I used my normal bibs once I reached my destination.  At home I wipe Scotty’s tushy with cloth rags that are washed.  For the trip I used cloth-like paper towels and they worked just find.

Here is the complete packing list I used to take my 8 month old son to Hawaii:

Feeding items
Jarred food, Rice cereal, Spoons Small, Tupperware, Bibs, Sippy cup or bottle for water, Breast pump, Pumping parts Bottles and nipples

Clothing
Warm clothes for the plane, At least 1.5 outfits per day (check the weather but shorts, t-shirt, and a light jacket is normally good enough), A couple pairs of socks just in case, A hat, Sunglasses, A light jacket, Pajamas, Diapers, Swimming diapers

Bath time and grooming
A small container of baby shampoo, A small container of baby lotion, Sunscreen, Diaper rash cream, Baby nail clippers, Wipes

Travel items
Stroller, Baby carrier, Car seat (and instructions)

Diaper bag for the plane
Change of clothes, Paci with leash, Water bottle, Wipes, Diapers, Toys, Disposable bibs, Disposable changing towels, Hand sanitizer, Jarred food, Spoon, Rice cereal

Miscellaneous
Pool float toy, Toy leash,  High chair cover, Blankets, A camera, Pack-and-Play sheet

Things I forgot and wish I had packed
Small container of dish soap to wash used feeding items, More diapers

Would you know what to do?

The other day I was at dinner with a friend when Scotty started coughing while he was eating his puree.  He often makes fake choking noises to indicate boredom or to get attention so I wasn’t really worried.  But after a few seconds his eyes teared up and his face started turning red.  As I was getting him out of his stroller he started to throw up- he was choking for real!

Luckily I had reviewed the procedure for helping a baby who is choking just last weekend.  I threw him over my lap and banged on his back like I had practiced on the baby dummy and read about.  And then he was fine.  After a few moments, you couldn’t even tell anything had ever happened to him- he was back to smiling and wiggling.

My friend and I were still in a bit of shock.  And I was covered in vomit.

Moral of the story: take a CPR class for infants.  Post the instructions on your fridge.  Review them at least once a month.  You never know when you might need it.

What to expect at baby’s check-ups

Most likely (depending on your child’s vaccination schedule) your child’s pediatrician will want to see your child at 2, 4, 6, 9, and 12 months of age.

At these checkups you can expect the nurse to first check the baby’s axillary temperature (that means they check the temperature by placing a thermometer in the arm pit).  Next they will check your child’s height by asking you to place them on a rollout tape measure (not the most scientifically accurate way of measuring things… but that’s a story for another blog).   The baby will have their clothes on at this point.  The nurse will measure the baby’s head using a soft measuring tape.  They can do this while you are holding the baby.  Next, they will ask you to undress the baby (diaper and all) and place them on a scale to get the baby’s weight.  You will be allowed to put the baby back in a diaper while you wait for the doctor.

The doctor will check the baby’s overall body appearance, eyes, ears, mouth, tummy, hips, and age appropriate reflexes.   The doctor will want to know if the baby is hitting all of the “normal” milestones.  Every baby does this at a different rate and if you are concerned ask the doctor about it.

At this point the doctor will go over the baby’s percentages for head size, weight, and height with you (how their growth compares with the masses).  These percentages mean nothing but they might answer some questions for you.  For example, I wondered why Scott was wearing 12 month sized clothes at 6 months… and discovered that he was in the 90% for weight- mystery solved.

Then your doctor should ask you if you have any questions.  Ask as many as you like- you are paying for this!  One suggestion is to ask the doctor what your child is being vaccinated for.  You will have to sign off on this, but it’s important to make sure you know what they are getting and why.

Then the doctor will go and a nurse will administer your baby’s vaccinations after reviewing them with you (these either are oral or injected into the leg).  The nurse may ask you to assist by holding the baby’s legs down on the table.  You will then have to wait about 20 minutes to make sure your baby does not have any adverse reactions to the vaccines.

What should you bring with you?
Bring a normal diaper bag stocked up for a short trip.  For ideas on what to pack in your diaper bag see HERE or HERE.
In the days leading up to the appointment, write down your questions (you will forget them in the appointment).  Take these questions with you.
If you are seeing a new doctor, bring your past vaccination records with you.

The first day of daycare

Scotty has been in daycare for a grand total of four weeks.  And while I am in no way an expert at the whole daycare thing, I have learned quite a bit about the entire process.

I was very, very lucky that I was able to stay at home with my son for the first 5 and a half months of his life.  I returned to work this August because I wanted to and because we needed the funds (we have a college fund to save for now!).

Just because he wasn’t a tiny baby didn’t make it any easier to leave him with strangers.  After I dropped him off that first day I cried in my car for almost 20 minutes.  Not out of any fear for my son- he was having a great time and in capable hands- but for some irrational emotional reason relating to him growing up too fast and being “exposed” to things out of my control.

It has gotten a lot easier to leave him there after doing it a few more times.  Don’t get me wrong- there are still days I think I should just quit my job and stay at home.  But, since I see the staff in action 4 times a day (at drop off and pick up and for feedings) I feel much more confident in their ability to care for my son.

It’s also comforting to know that he is going to be exposed to things and learn skills that he just can’t learn at home in the same way.  I was both thrilled and depressed when after only 9 days in daycare, the staff taught my son to sit on his own.  I felt like I had missed out and that I had failed to teach him this vital skill.  Rationally I knew that he would have learned the skill with me too, and that I had plenty of time to see him practice, but emotionally it was so sad!  I can only imagine that this gets harder for larger milestones like walking and talking.

On the flip side he has had other “firsts” at daycare that I am thankful for missing.  Last week he did his first art project.  The staff documented the process for me on film and recounted it for me.  So I felt like I was almost there.  However, I didn’t have to deal with the clean-up of the baby, the table, the chair, and the floor.  He also had his first water play day.  The babies had a blast dumping water over one another’s heads.  Again, no mess and no clean-up for me, and Scotty had a blast!

If you are looking for a daycare center or have a friend going through this transition, keep in mind that the opinions and comments of others can be helpful, hurtful, and people will give you advice and feedback whether you ask for it or not.

The center I am using was not recommended by any of my coworkers- in fact they advised against it (the center used to be under different management and ownership and they had lingering memories).   I also had coworkers tell me that I was making a mistake by going back to work and using that center.  Others told me that I was paying way too much (how that is anyone’s business I am not sure…) It was very alarming and hurtful (especially after crying about the exact same thing in my car no less than an hour before).  If you are the parent look for supportive friends to talk to; and if you are the one giving advice be supportive.

For parents of infants, I have made a list of what I pack for Scotty, so that you too can have an idea of what you should pack for your child.  Also there is a list of what I liked/looked for when I was looking into different centers.

Good luck!

What to pack for daycare:
2 changes of clothes (tops, pants, socks), a hat, shoes (they go outside a lot), a blanket, a pacifier, diapers, wipes, diaper rash cream, a jacket, a sippy water cup with water in it, his bottles (with his breast milk), extra nipples, and his solid food.  My daycare place provides cribs, crib sheets, bibs, bottle warmers, bowls, and spoons.

What I like/looked for in a daycare center
Proximity to my place of work so that I can breastfeed often, as much outside time and fresh air as possible, a low teacher to child ratio (mine is 1 to 4), a place that looks and smells clean, age appropriate toys, separation of older and young kids, an open door policy (I visit my son no less than twice a day to feed him, but I am free to stop in anytime without calling ahead), a system for preventing just anyone from walking into the center, and staff that genuinely likes working with children.

Feeding baby

As I started giving my son solid foods I had LOTS of questions.  What should I start with?  (I ended up starting with rice cereal, apples, and bananas)   Are there any foods that are not safe for baby? (I knew to stay away from honey, but I had no idea that wheat was such a big deal)  And how much should he be eating anyways?  (That all depends on your baby).

While looking at different sites on the internet I came across one that I really liked.  And instead of reinventing the wheel and posting all of the cool stuff from that site here in my own words, I will share the link.

Baby Food 101, your baby food guide has GREAT information about when different foods should be fed to baby, how to prepare and store the foods, and interesting ideas for adult recipes so that when you buy certain fruits and veggies in bulk, the rest of the family can enjoy them (in a non-puree form) as well!  I think this is an especially good site for moms looking to cook their own baby food, but if you are using store bought foods this site is still great.

I especially like the “should I buy organic?” section.  The makers of the site actually looked at pesticide data to see if it was worth it to buy the organic version of a product.  For example, sweet potatoes are at high risk for pesticide contamination, so buy organic when making or buying baby food.  But there is no need to worry about pesticides getting on your pineapples, mangoes, or bananas because of the thick skin on these fruits- no need to buy organic here.   Of course, organic options are always best for the environment but that would be a blog post for a different type of blog.

In my search for feeding baby resources, I also came across a book that I really didn’t like.  It’s called Top 100 Baby Purees: 100 Quick and Easy Meals for a Healthy and Happy Baby by Annabel Karmel.  It’s a best seller on amazon with very high ratings.  I got the book in the mail was very excited to read up.  I had hardly cracked the book open when I realized that the book was horrible!

The author suggests “developing baby’s sense of taste early” by exposing them to complex flavors (not a good idea, they need simple flavors as they get used to solid foods).  She also suggested adding spices (like cinnamon), butter, or cheese, to make things taste better.  This was all for kids 4-9 months!  Needless to say I retuned the book.

If you have a site or a book you would like to share please leave it in the comments section.  I would love to take a look.

How do you know your baby is ready for solid foods?

It’s best to wait to give your child solid foods for the first time until they are about 6 months old.  There are some studies that indicate that the risk of developing allergies and childhood obesity are reduced if you wait to introduce solid foods until then.  Additionally, the immune system boost that a baby acquires from drinking breast milk is most effective if the baby is fed breast milk exclusively until 6 months old.  Also, the baby should be able to get all of their nutritional needs from breast milk or formula until that time.  Even after introducing solids, a baby should get the majority of their calories from milk for the first year.

Additionally, you baby should be able to sit up and hold up their head before you give them solids.  Most babies will have doubled their birth weight before they are ready for solids.  And they will have developed the ability to swallow without their tongue pushing food out.  Unless your doctor advises you to do so, a baby should never be given solids before 4 months of age.

That being said, some people (like me) have to start giving solid foods earlier than 6 months even though it’s not ideal.  Here are a couple of situations and signs that indicate your baby might be ready for solids. As always, if you have any questions, consult your pediatrician!

They no longer sleep though the night
If your baby used to sleep through the night, and they are now waking up for additional feedings, this could be a sign that they are ready for solids during the day.  This can also be a sign of teething, gas, and a variety of other factors, so use your instincts.

If your baby is showing a lot of interest in what adults are eating
Babies that track you while you are eating, reach for food that you are eating, or move their mouths while watching you eat they may also be ready for solid foods.  Keep in mind that babies between the ages of 4-6 months put everything in their mouths, so make sure you can see the difference between curiosity and the need to receive additional nutrition (this is how my mother-in-law knew that my husband was ready for solids when he was a baby)

Your breast milk is not enough
If after a large milk feeding, the baby still wants more to eat consistently, they are probably ready for the introduction of solids or going through a growth spurt.  This is what happened to me with my son.  In my case, I would have plenty of milk in the morning, but by the evening, I was not satisfying his needs (this took place over a week and I tried to pump to stimulate more milk production).  If this happens to you, try replacing or supplementing two feedings from the day with solid food.

The baby is not taking as much milk as before
Babies need to get a certain amount of calories each day.  If for some reason they are not taking in the calories they require you should talk to a doctor about introducing solids.  This happened to a friend of mine.  Her son started weaning himself off his bottles and was not as interested in them as she would have liked.  Since she was worried about his development and weight gain, she introduced solids and he was much more interested in them then he was in his bottles.

Pets and Babies

A few years before my son was born, my husband and I adopted a kitty from the pound. He became the center of the family. We took pictures of him, bought him the best toys and food, and even let him sleep between us on the bed. In other words, he was our little baby.

After my son was born, the cat had to go through a long adjustment process. He doesn’t get as much attention anymore and the house is a lot noisier than it was before. At first, he became so stressed he actually started losing some fur. The kitty is getting better now, and my husband and I are making an effort daily to let him know we still care. Now that our son has started loving the kitty too, things seem a lot better for him.

I have heard of other new parents actually having to give up their pets, because they don’t have enough time or money to take care of them any longer. Babies really do take that much time and money! Please don’t let this happen to you.

If you want kids and don’t already have pets, wait to get your pets until your kids are old enough to enjoy them and give them some love. Imagine how excited your future five year old will be with a puppy or a kitty someday?

If you already have pets and are thinking about having kids, keep in mind that it can be a very difficult transition for your pets. Plan ahead so that everyone can be comfortable in your new home.

Advice to parents to be from new parents

I asked a bunch of my friends who have had babies in the past year or two what advice they would give to a future parent.  Here is a collection of the advice they passed on to me.

On cabin fever…
As soon as you are physically up for it, try to get out of the house.  Even just sitting on the grass outside of the house is better than sitting inside and getting a little batty.  Going on small daily walks around the neighborhood, to the local grocery store, or a local park, and the mall can really help with cabin fever.  It is also great for getting a fussy baby to sleep and getting the baby weight off.  Keep in mind that while your bay is small (less than 4 months or so) they will most likely sleep anywhere!  Take advantage of this and go out to eat, go to the library, and do what you would normally do while you can (with your significant other sometimes too, if possible).  However, if you don’t want to go out or are not ready to go out, that is okay too!  Don’t feel guilty.

On getting sleep…
Everyone says it, and they say it for a reason: Nap when the baby naps.  At first this might not be a problem for you.  You will be tired from the labor and the midnight, 2am, 4am, and 6am feedings.  But later, as you start to recover you will be tempted to do some laundry, dishes, or write a blog while the baby sleeps… don’t do it!  Get rest while you can.

About joining a mommy group…
Join a mom’s group early on.  It’s good for fighting cabin fever, getting your body back, and giving you a chance to talk to some adults during the day.  Even if you are an introvert in a mom’s group you will always have something to talk about- your kids!

About your husband/significant other…
Don’t forget about them!  Try to make a little time each day for just the two of you.  When you are up for it, take advantage of family visiting to get out of the house together without the baby, even if it’s just for a quick trip.  Also keep in mind that your hubby may change diapers differently from you or pick out differently (not matching) outfits.  Let him do things his way unless they are harmful for the baby. It will build his confidence and his connection with your child.

On your child’s development…
Every child grows at their own pace.  Don’t worry if your child is not hitting milestones “when they should” or if they are in high or low percentiles for weight and height.  These truly mean nothing.  All children are different and will grow and develop at their own pace.  That being said, the first few weeks are very difficult physically.  You are recovering, the baby wants to be fed every 2-3 hours, and you are lacking sleep.  There is light at the end of the tunnel.  At some point, your baby will sleep through the night.  Then you will have a few months to catch up on sleep before they start walking!

Watch out for bad advice and weird comments…
People are going to feel that it is their duty to tell you that “your life will never be the same again”.  How annoying.  This is true for ANY life change you make.  Learn how to filter the advice that comes your way from your parents, in-laws, friends, people walking by on the street… and take what works for you and toss the rest out the window.  Everyone will want to point out any “flaws” with your child.  For example, my son had bad cradle cap, and EVERYONE (the cashier at Safeway, the guy at the post office, the lady with the dog at the pet store…) always felt that they needed to point it out to me (in case I missed it).  Learn to ignore these annoying comments.

Lastly…
Relax!  Trust your instincts.  And enjoy your time with your baby.  They grow up so fast.

And for fun, this is from my husband…
“I just thought of something but I forgot….”  (he has not been napping when the baby naps!)